In search of that elusive peace

TOXIC – This is one of the words that I have heard the most from clients this year. People want peaceful lives. Seemingly a very reasonable expectation. Some place the locus of their demand on their external environment, others on their internal environment. “Why are these people disturbing my peace?” versus “Why can’t I control my mind and remain peaceful?

Life is full of experiences; whether we categorize them into internal or external, painful or pleasurable, life goes on. We are not able to. Our mind has a ground hog day, replaying endlessly in a loop the same scenarios, coming up with the same conclusions. Ultimately, we decide either we are not good enough to be with others or others are not good enough to be with us. We cut off or withdraw depending on our attitude. The result is the same – our world shrinks. The cause is also the same – the need to protect oneself.

I am not talking about genuinely abusive conditions where it is essential to get away and seek a safe abode. Unfortunately, people often fail to detect and take appropriate actions in such cases but that is a different story for a different day. Here, I am pointing to the trend of blocking and cutting people off at the drop of a hat. People build high walls not only around their houses and live in isolated gated communities but also have erected mammoth walls around their heart.

This is because we mistake a thought about who we are to be who we are. Thoughts are passing clouds. To derive our sense of self from thoughts is to identify ourself with something very fragile and fleeting. Hence the tremendous fear. The solutions to attain peace that arise from this fear-ridden mind are also quick fixes - seeking therapy to get rid of the uncomfortable emotions, getting rid of “toxic” people or getting away from them to avoid triggers.

The only lasting solution is to stay aware, acknowledge the difficult emotions and situations and keep acting appropriately. Engage and not disengage. When we do this, our identity shifts from a flimsy thought-based one to a much more deep-rooted awareness-based one. Unhelpful beliefs lose hold on us. We become open and trusting of the intelligence that sustains the universe. We live in acceptance. It is then that we heal. 

Let us walk on that path of healing together....HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

When forms dissolve

 

I was talking with someone whose perception towards a loved one (LO) had changed. He experienced this as being very painful. He described himself as being so loyal to the LO that he would not have hesitated to kill or die for her. He was suffering from the classic symptoms of grief. He had a story in his head about who she is which collapsed when she behaved in a particular way. He then went through the culturally programmed process of grief. I invited him to recognize that his story about her had emerged from his unmet childhood needs which he readily acknowledged. The story then became a barrier which prevented him from recognizing her true nature or seeing her behaviour as it is. In the space that emerged when the story gave way, he now has the opportunity to see clearly. In the uncertainty of not having a definite idea about who the other is, he could stay live to what is.

I gently reminded him that his or her true identity is not a story. A story is a set of thoughts that run together. It could be about who we are, who others are, about situation, etc. When we observe, we become aware of it. Thus staying as the awareness that is observing, we recognize that story is an object of awareness and is thus a particular form. All forms by nature change. That a form can endure forever is a misconception that humans hold on to. From this misunderstanding, arouse the thought whether he would lose the form. From that fear came and the need to hold on to the form. When this was thwarted, arouse grief. When he realized all this and was reminded of his own true nature, grief gave way to peace.

This needs to be read with a bit of background knowledge on the nature of who we are. If we identify ourselves with the story in our head about who we are instead of our essence, we suffer. Recognizing ourselves as the awareness that observes is the beginning of freedom. Recognizing another as the same consciousness and seeing their behaviour without distortion is love.

We tend to forget our true nature and falsely identify with the stories in our head. All of us do that unless we are enlightened beings. To recognize that all dysfunctional behaviour arises from that forgetting is forgiveness.

The two modes of our mind

 

Our mind is versatile in that it has two modes of functioning: 1. Witnessing mode, 2. Immersed mode. Most of the time, a majority of people are in the immersed mode. Many are not aware of the existence of witnessing mode and do not use it consciously. At times, people fall into it and revert back without awareness. Spirituality and religious practices are by way of design intended to bring mind into a witnessing mode. However when done compulsively without knowledge, it does not serve that intention. When we function exclusively in the immersed mode, we are prone to emotional pain and suffering. The way out is to just switch our mode.

Immersed mode: People think and thoughts keep pouring in and out. We are so enamored by thoughts that they hold our attention exclusively. In immersed mode, we are so fused with our thoughts that our body responds to its content. Accordingly, we experience various body sensations and feelings. If the content of our mind is peaceful, our body feels at ease. On the other hand, mental turmoil is reflected by uncomfortable sensations in the body.

The content of our thoughts can be related to the present or could be of the past or future. Whenever the thoughts are related to the here and now, actions are more appropriate and we also feel more mentally energized and balanced. When past or future thoughts predominate, sadness or anxiety can arise respectively.

When we are convinced that thoughts are true and believe in them fully, our body and actions mirror its content. This can lead to inappropriate behaviour and affect even relationships adversely. This is the so-called “normal” human suffering. Yet so much of it is unnecessary and is perpetuated only because we do not know how to switch modes.

Witnessing mode: When we resolve to observe instead of getting involved in thoughts, we are witnessing. This mode can be easily attained by mindfulness or grounding. Without the jargon, this only means to start looking around – look at the space, listen to the sounds, feel your breath, and body sensations. You can also observe the thoughts come and go without engaging with them. When we start attending to the here and now through our various senses without our attention being fully taken up by thoughts, we start to switch. We do not resist any thought. We do not go along with any thoughts. We just stay as a witness to what is unfolding – thoughts, body sensations, stimuli in the environment. There is a feeling of not knowing. We can allow that to be and ease into it. This is a moment of freedom.

In the witnessing mode, thoughts do not linger. They float by like passing clouds. As long as we do not engage with the thoughts, they will not stay as our attention is the only energy that powers them. No matter what the circumstances are, this mode is ever accessible to us. Thus, we are at any moment potentially free from suffering. We are also in our most resourceful state in this mode. We can choose which thoughts we want to engage in. It is important to have a clear idea about our goals in life. Then we can observe the thoughts and choose to engage with thoughts that bring us closer to our goals while letting others go.

Thoughts are not facts. Thoughts are assumptions we make about reality. They are not right or wrong in themselves. It is more helpful to categorize them as useful or not. Those thoughts that serve to realize our goals are useful. Otherwise, not. Once we know to switch to the immersed mode and have discernment in which thought is useful or not, we are utilizing our power.

Every thought we choose to fuse with, rides our attention and energizes itself impacting our body, emotions, and thus our actions. When we stay in immersed mode, we have no choice over what thoughts can possess us. This is the suffering of mankind. Yet, we always potentially have the power to be free. This is realized only when we switch to the witnessing mode.

In our daily lives, we take up so many roles – of worker, of parent, of spouse, of sibling, of offspring …. There are myriad situations that necessitate us to fuse with many thoughts. If we are aware and choose, we are versatile. Without awareness, we are but puppets in the hands of fate. This is like taking up a role in a drama and becoming so obsessed with the role and the mask that we wear for that role that we decide to go home wearing the mask. That would be absurd right? No more than how we carry around obsolete thoughts and fuse with them sacrificing our power and autonomy. Key is to recognize when to put on the mask and when not. That is freedom.

Thoughts about who we are can become a prison for us. We feel compelled to defend these stories in our mind. If I believe the thought that “I am honest,” then I must label a person who is not agreeing with my perception as dishonest. I have taken up a mask and pushed one on another person as well. Then we wage wars to uphold these masks. Such unnecessary suffering!

Who I am cannot be defined. As also every one else. To do so, is to deny our true identity. When we recognize that thoughts are not facts, when we switch to witnessing mode, we connect with who we are beyond stories and self definitions. We drop our masks. To be able to switch, to know when and how, this is a fine line to tread. Yet to do it is to fulfill our destiny as a human being. 

 

Words that point back to The Truth

Silence is very wholesome. Words seem futile as they immediately negate half the truth. They are broken symbols that elude perfection. Yet words are all that we have for now. When I utter a sentence, I have taken a stance and immediately I am pitted against the opposing argument. Through these absurdities, an identity of half-truths is bred. What was indescribable and complete has now been broken down into shreds and I become then a possessor of this piecemeal identity.

Thus through a web of errors, my self concept is built. This is a bunch of thoughts that I have about myself. "I am Thehseen. I love to write. Blah, blah..." I make pronouncements that underscore this self concept and it grows through interactions, consequent verbalisations and continuing feedback. It grows so monstrous that it then engulfs the reality that it was supposed to be only a representative of. Truth is forgotten. Half-truths fly around like a swarm of flies that encompass the sweet fruit of our essence. In this confusion, people float around like rotten seaweeds unable to anchor themselves in the pristine waters of life.

Once in a while, through sheer exhaustion from the turbulence of life, mind comes to a standstill. Then these fallacies fall away and truth shines through. This need not be the state of the average man.  Through a dedicated effort to stay in the moment, witness the inner and outer space, and feel own bodily sensations, man can go beyond the shackles of self concept and uncover the sweet taste of real self. Transactional Analysis can be an elegant tool that can enhance this attempt and pave the way for this recovery.

We can’t heal what we can’t feel

Emotional pain is not something we can work through in a day and hope to live happily ever after. Pain appears when we least expect it. We don’t get to prepare for it. It just comes up as and when situations we deem as stressful arise in our lives spontaneously. These seemingly insufferable situations are the opportunities for healing. At these times, the pain comes up to the surface for us to engage with it. We can’t heal what we can’t feel. So we allow ourselves to feel deeply. Whatever the emotion be. We feel the physical sensations. All the while gently reminding ourselves that we are consciousness itself and not the sensations or thoughts that arise in it. Rooted in our awareness, we go about our lives as usual. This is the only preparation that is required. And suddenly the pain comes up and we say “Ok, you too are part of this NOW. Hello! What message do you bring?” Meanwhile we keep cultivating positive growth-oriented thoughts that can reap rich dividends in the form of goal-oriented appropriate behaviour. Let our every step be purposeful. Oriented towards our spiritual and personal goals. When we focus on the positive, healing will still take place in the background naturally. It is going to happen intermittently. It is part of your daily life. So just ease into the present moment. Don’t be in a hurry to just get it over with. Just allow everything to be and flow peacefully with life.

A mirror shatters

I was walking by the TV in our living room when a snippet from the iconic Bruce Lee movie  - "Enter the dragon" captured my attention. It was the legendary scene of the mirrors; Lee moving warily as the enemy hides amidst his numerous reflections. Then an idea enters Lee's mind that propels him into action. Though I don't remember it word for word, it went something like this - "Break the false image and the enemy will be defeated." I stopped in my tracks as I pondered about this precious wisdom.

People have an idea in their head about who they are. This self image is actually just a bunch of thoughts about themselves. Eventually people get so attached to these images that they gradually lose sight of their real essence. In ourselves and in others, these false images create barriers that separates'I' from 'you' and fosters enemity and hatred. I was being reminded that when we let go of the false images, the idea of 'enemy' itself dissolves. We are all one in essence. There is no enemy. 😊

In search of Truth

As long as we do not know the Truth, we do not know what is good for us. Only what is in the One Absolute Eternal Truth's (which I will call God) good pleasure is good ie, creates no suffering and has the best outcome for the universe. Those who know the Truth (the prophets, the witnesses, etc.) follow God’s will without effort. Others have to be given general guidelines as to how to live because they do not know what is God's will on their own as they are cut off from that part of them that knows. This is why there are scriptures.

Animals follow God's will without effort. In Tsunamis and such natural disasters, hardly any animal dies. I read that the animal population migrated uphill before the waves struck. They just went. They might not even have known why they went but they did. Because they have no choice and they follow God's will without fail.

But man says, "should I do this, should I not, why should I do this, blah, blah.' He has no idea. He is cut off. What we are trying to do here is get back to that part of us that is in touch with God's will. We have a good GPS that God has given us which we are supposed to use and sail through life with ease. But things have gotten so bad that we don’t even know it exists. So those who know have to write down manuals to show the way. ie, prophets bring revelations. Scriptures thus may be said to have two natural goals:

1. Help clueless men go through life in a way that does not create too much suffering and which may eventually,

2. Help find GPS and reinstall.

All this so that we can return to the primary purpose of meeting up with God. We are supposed to be God's ambassadors on earth. So it is very important to reinstall the GPS if we want to ascend a long way. But at least we should follow the manual. Problem is people interpret the manual as it suits them and then they fight over it. Instructions that are specific to a situation are hard to come by in the manual. GPS would hopefully solve those problems.

The beautiful rose

The Master appointed a gardener to tend to His rose plant. If at the end of his contract, the gardener succeeds in bringing Him a beautiful rose flower, he would be rewarded with a delightful garden to retire to peacefully.

Like the gardener, we are appointed on earth for a specific time to tend to our soul. If we fulfill our contract to grow a pure and blissful personality and submit it to our Master, our life’s journey would be rewarding.

Your will

God – The One Absolute Eternal Truth- alone has power over all things. He has also given us the power to choose. When we surrender to God and choose Him as our refuge, we are also making the choice of good – good thoughts, good deeds, good words. Thoughts being the precursor of action and thus the foundation of our future, positive thoughts build a positive future. Let us choose to have only encouraging happy thoughts. When we fill ourselves with God no negativity has any space left. This means filling ourselves with all the best thoughts for indeed God commands all that is best and pure. So ignore that little voice that says unhappy things and instead choose consciously to have uplifting joyful thoughts like “I am grateful to have so much goodness in my life,” so much so that slowly even your unconscious thinking will become totally positive. God is giving you all that is good but you are creating hurdles for yourself by not extending your hand to receive. If you want beautiful pictures on the screen of your life, you must first clean the screen and let the light through. Be assured that the projector has a wonderful movie to play. Trust God. Let go and enjoy.

Take a vacation from unhappy thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself saying negative things or complaining even if it is about the weather, stop, forgive yourself, and immediately change to the positive track. Please try this out, whats the harm in trying? 

Four wives and a funda

Of late, Christopher has been watching the debate on polygamy in Islam. He wanted to clarify a few doubts with Zubeida, his Muslim friend.

Christopher: What exactly does the Quran say about having four wives?

Zubeida: As far as I know, there is one particular verse in the Quran that deals with this clearly and it is as follows – “If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one...." This can be found in the Chapter 4 titled ‘Women.’ That chapter also contains other verses on fair dealing with orphans and women.

Christopher: Who were these orphans?

Zubeida: In those days, because of war, there were a lot of widows and kids without any guardians. Muslims were obligated to offer them protection and dignity by receiving them into their family. It was a period of great social crisis when men were less in number and orphans were aplenty. When the men found it difficult financially or otherwise to take care of the orphans and the burden became too great for them and the existing wives, more wives were allowed--up to a max of four--to take care of the little ones. These women were themselves widows or orphans of marriageable age.

Christopher: Now I understand! Also the verse says that if a man cannot deal justly with so many wives, then he can have only one wife, right?

Zubeida: Exactly!

Christopher: It is hard to get along with one wife and I can’t imagine being fair to four! No way, man!

Zubeida: That about sums it up then. In fact, verse 129 from the same chapter kinda says the same thing. Polygamy is quite a controversial subject.

Christopher: Well, there is a rumour going around that one reason for polygamy is to allow men to fulfil their needs when they keep away from their wives during their monthly cycles. It also claims that when a man works abroad, he can take other wives.

Zubeida: I have already told you the only criterion for polygamy. Apart from this, nothing is mentioned in the Quran to the best of my knowledge and I have gone over it several times and read the opinion of experts in order to answer your questions accurately. Polygamy was merely tolerated and not encouraged in Islam. Anyway, marriage without mutual consent is not allowed and adultery is absolutely prohibited.

Christopher: I guess the best way to approach religious matters is with an open mind.

Ancient Wisdom

India is a paradox for foreigners who care to study it. Some of them often wonder why India does not show pride in its rich heritage. They feel that Indians berate themselves despite their achievements and lack true nationalism. To them, India is a young nation still coming to terms with its realities perhaps even bogged down by a turbulent past. They also wonder why Hindus often champion Muslim or Christian causes with such enthusiasm sometimes even to the detriment of their own. What they do not realise is that India is not a young child establishing its new identity who must first reject all that is alien and reclaim its rightful place.

India has in spite of all its sufferings not lost its continuity from the ancient times and is ever the wise mother who cuddles in her lap the eldest child Hindu, the youngest child Muslim and all the other sons and daughters. If she appears to be kinder to the youngest, it is only because she knows in her infinite wisdom that it is the most fragile. She has much hope and trust in her eldest, the wise one, whom she expects to be a shining example capable of carrying even the youngest on its wings. It is this karuna (compassion) and dharma of the eldest that is often mistakenly perceived as weakness by westerners but its tolerance flows not from frailty but a higher source of strength, justice, and steady vision rooted in true knowledge of the Vedas (sacred texts of Hinduism). Only the strongest can look inward and laugh at their own defects while extolling the virtues of others. The younger children must in turn imbibe from the eldest that knowledge, the most ancient of all that is the aim of life and only then will their own wisdom be complete.

Now we come to the youngest, the Muslim. The Quran contains within it the exhortation to study and learn past scriptures. Thus every Muslim is obligated to learn the Bhagavad Gita, Upanishads, etc. I write this only because Islam is now a much misunderstood and maligned religion even amidst some of the most learned. The teachings in Islam if properly understood is a continuation of the ancient knowledge, a reaffirmation of all that came before. In truth, it claims not to be a new religion but only an extension. Allah is only the Arabic word for Almighty God, eternal and absolute and not any new name and as the Quran says all beautiful names belong to him. Is not Brahman the most beautiful of names? Thus at its core, there is no essential Hindu-Muslim conflict in ideology.

Selfish people in search of power have always corrupted religion, dividing men and causing inordinate suffering. This truth is grasped by our Hindu brethren unlike most of the Western world which does not understand the basic unity and spirituality underlying all religions and so India is the country that treats Muslims the best. I must also add one more thing because I am truly afraid. If the misconceptions about Islam continue to be propagated around the world by both terrorists and clueless western intellectuals, there might soon be great violence against innocent Muslims who are caught in between them. I have read Islamic and Hindu scriptures quite extensively and I earnestly state that there is nothing in both that encourages violence. It is merely a spiritual and moral guide.

Unfortunately in the hands of mischievous men, the most sacred of symbols and teachings get denigrated through misrepresentation and deliberate association with violence. Did not Aurobindo (Indian sage) grieve at the usage of the Swastika by the Nazis? Muslims grieve about the loss of the sanctity of noble words like Jihad, Islam, Mujahid, Muslim, etc. to such an extent that now being a Muslim has become synonymous with being a terrorist in certain parts of the world. If in India such paranoia has ceased to exist, it is because we know the truth and the Brahmins, the most learned men of India have taken the time and effort to study the Quran and found it to be true and in accordance with Sanatana (eternal) Dharma (right way of living). It is because of this magnanimity and clarity of thought that we have assimilated ancient wisdom with the new. It is because of this that India is the magnificent smorgasbord of plurality that defies logic.

Defining the Muslim identity

Christopher has been reading about ‘Islamic terrorism.’ When he met his Muslim friend Zubeida, he had many doubts that he wanted to clarify. Zubeida told him that though some terrorists may have Muslim names, they are not Muslims. The following is a fictional conversation between Zubeida and her friend Christopher.

Christopher: Who is a Muslim then?

Zubeida: A person who bows to the will of Almighty God. The word Islam means peaceful submission to the will of Almighty God. By this definition, many people who call themselves Christians or Hindus or Jews could be true Muslims, while many who have Muslim names are not.

Christopher: But how can a Christian or Hindu be a Muslim?

Zubeida: The Quran teaches us that only Almighty God can judge who really submits to his will. All people who believe in Him and live a righteous life are Muslims. For us Quran is not the only holy book. It is only the last of many sent out by Almighty God to instruct man on how to seek Him.

Christopher: Does this mean you have read scriptures of other religions?

Zubeida: Yes, but first of all, there is only one religion.

Christopher (Incredulous): What?

Zubeida: Submission to God might be called by different names but from the beginning Almighty God has taught us the same thing—to worship Him alone and be righteous. This message can be found in the teachings of Jesus-Peace be upon him-, Bhagavad Gita, Upanishads, etc. and all the scriptures brought out through different messengers of God. In fact, Allah is only the Arabic word for Almighty God. It is not a name of a new God.

Christopher: But ..

Zubeida: One sec, let me give you an example. Say there is an author who has been writing countless books on a particular subject over several years. His knowledge, originally perfect, has not changed over the years and he writes the same things, sometimes in different languages, sometimes published by different companies, sometimes received by people in only one part of the world, sometimes released all over the world, etc.

Christopher: How is this relevant?

Zubeida: Messengers of Allah are like different publishers and scriptures are the books! So same message, same author, different messengers, different languages, different readers.

Christopher: Then why do people fight in the name of religion saying that their religion is the best?

Zubeida: The Quran explicitly warns against divisiveness. It says mankind is one and that people only differ amidst themselves due to selfishness. It emphasises the brotherhood of all those who believe and are righteous. This is the Muslim brotherhood. It includes righteous believers among those who call themselves Hindus, Christians, Buddhists, Jews, etc. as well. From now on when I use the words Allah and Muslim, you must remember its true meaning.

Christopher: Terrorists call themselves Muslims and all their outfits have Muslim-sounding names like Mujahideen, Jihadi, Islami etc. etc.

Zubeida: Terrorists bring destruction to themselves and those around them. Their violent actions are anything but righteous and hence they are not Muslims! Quran says that if you kill one person unjustly, it is akin to killing the whole of mankind. So, are you convinced now that terrorists are not Muslims and Muslims are not terrorists?

A fine balance

As a law, exotic flowers do not bloom frequently. The two extremes of exquisite beauty and morbid ugliness exist in nature but do not manifest as often as the unremarkable but pleasing jasmine or lily. The ubiquitous jasmine makes up by its consistency and quality what it lacks in colorfulness. Though every flower has its place, it is the unimaginative jasmine that we seek for daily usage. Thus in nature, the mundane edges out the unfamiliar with its usefulness, relevance, reliability, and comforting flavor.

Religion like any facet of nature ranges from the sublime to the subversive. Some ideas uplift man, some hold man hostage by its heartless inflexibility. These opposing ideologies add to the diversity of human thought but again as in nature only the middle path can carry the majority. It is the straight path of faith, righteousness, kindness, love, honesty, responsibility, and duty. It lies at the heart of every human idea worth its salt. This is the essence of every religion that has ever existed.

The passionate construction of a clueless child will be washed away by the relentless sea. Without structure or order, a stable house cannot be built. On the other hand a dreary windowless edifice built with precision cannot house breathing, loving, vibrant people whose spirit will be killed by its macabre rigidity. A feeling of largesse, abundant light, fresh air-these timeless factors-contribute to the making of a good house.

If this is the case with building a home, how much more important are subtle eternal qualities of freedom and love when fashioning a human being? Rituals, rules, duties, and responsibilities are essential cornerstones but without love, kindness, friendship, and honesty to enrich them, man will suffocate and languish in a prison of his own making. The converse is also perfectly true. Good intention executed without proper guidelines or a definite purpose is akin to an elegant catamaran decked with flowers adrift at sea.

How can we attain this fine balance? Where will we draw the line? What criteria will define right and wrong? For a believer, religion provides these answers effectively. Within each religion, apart from the universal message of belief and righteousness that is common to every religion, there are laws that are specific to a time, place, and people. In the course of human evolution, revelations have addressed unique needs as well as eternal ones. (When exclusive solutions are stretched into sweeping generalizations, they wear thin. This is the cause for all religious conflicts.)

Now what about the atheist? Is individual human thought capable of making an adequate delineation? Will human laws be sufficient to tackle the intricacies of the human mind? Will it rein in his baser instincts, inspire noble thoughts? After all, the finest of thoughts have all emanated from religious personalities. Can the atheist shun them all? Or will he accept them but not the origin?

I recently read that the dinosaurs were wiped out at the exact moment of their evolutionary surge. If we accept the idea of chance to explain the existence of the universe, how come the right choice always is made at the right instance with such exacting accuracy every single time in nature? What explains the complexities and the intrigues? Why did so many wise men insist on the same wisdom over the span of centuries and millennia spread all over the globe? Just a human tendency to believe in something bigger than him? An elaborate hoax? Or an eternal truth which sagacious men at varying times have by divine munificence discovered again and again and tried compassionately to simplify in order to convey it to the masses? What seems more probable? You tell me.

Status of Women in Islam

Before the advent of Islam, most women were treated quite shabbily in a manner worse than animals amidst the Arabs - they were inherited against their will and baby girls were usually killed. The teachings of Islam were meant to change that appalling situation and recognise the potential of women and confer on them dignity. Islam rightly does not equate men and women. A man is not equal to a woman and viceversa because we are unique and complement each other. In accordance with the difference in our nature, men and women are given different rights and duties. In terms of Grace of God, men and women have equal chance of acquiring it and in the Koran, God Almighty calls upon both men and women to the path of salvation - there are innumerous instances of terms like 'believing men and believing women', 'righteous men and righteous women', etc. I find this exceptionally beautiful because most religious texts use the word men and assume it to include women as well but not the Koran.

Quote from the Koran - 'The believing men and women are associates and helpers of each other. They (collaborate) to promote all that is beneficial and discourage all that is evil; to establish prayers and give alms, and to obey Allah and his Messenger. Those are the people whom Allah would grant mercy. Indeed Allah is Mighty and Wise.' (Al-Taubah 9:71)

In the life and traditions of the Prophet Mohammed (Peace be upon him) also, we find women being treated with respect and dignity. A few examples are listed below.

1) Women's Right of Permission: Narrated Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya that her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah's Apostle and he declared that marriage invalid. (Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 69)

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)." (Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 67)

2) On the Treatment of Women - Narrated Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri: I went to the Apostle of Allah (pbuh) and asked him: "What do you say (command) about our wives?" He replied: "Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them." (Sunan Abu Dawud: Book 11, Number 2139) "The best of you is one who is best towards his family and I am best towards the family". (At-Tirmithy). "None but a noble man treats women in an honourable manner. And none but an ignoble treats women disgracefully". (At-Tirmithy).

3) The Prophet's Disapproval of Women Beaters - Patient behavior was the practice of the Prophet, even when his wife addressed him harshly. Once his mother-in-law- saw her daughter strike him with her fist on his noble chest. When the enraged mother -in-law began to reproach her daughter, the Prophet smilingly said, "Leave her alone; they do worse than that." And once Abu Bakr, his father-in-law, was invited to settle some misunderstanding between him and Aishah. The Prophet said to her, "Will you speak, or shall I speak?" Aisha said, "You speak, but do not say except the truth." Abu Bakr was so outraged that he immediately struck her severely, forcing her to run and seek protection behind the back of the Prophet. Abu Bakr said, "O you the enemy of herself! Does the Messenger of Allah say but the truth?" The Prophet said, "O Abu Bakr, we did not invite you for this [harsh dealing with Aishah], nor did we anticipate it." quoted in: Mutual Rights and Obligations.

All rumours of Islam being discriminative toward women are falsehoods. In truth, women are explicitly given more rights in Islam than in any other religion. If women are still mistreated in spite of these beautiful teachings, it is because of cultural, racial, social, ethnic, and political prejudices. It has no basis in Islam. This is a simple truth that the popular media has failed to acknowledge. I wish the world would put aside its misconceptions. I also wish all women would get their due.

Unity in Diversity

Words are inadequate to express the Supreme truth. It can cause much mischief but we as human beings cannot do without it. So, I will still attempt to explain my understanding of the truth but I apologize in advance for any misunderstanding my words could cause. Only God can forgive me.

Let us take the example of a man and a thought. A thought is not man but man can momentarily be so consumed by a thought that at times a part of him can become one with the thought but at the same time no other part of him disappears. Man has the power of thought, ability to analyze thought, witness thought, and even enjoy it.

Atman or Rooh is the individual spirit that has proceeded forth from Brahman or Allah. Atman is present in every man. The enlightened man has Ananda and his will is absolutely aligned with that of the Brahman. He is the stithaprajna or Muslim. He is unaffected by abuse or praise. The enlightened man alone can live the way it was meant to be. All discord is gone as his will is surrendered to the Brahman. He will have joy in all that he does. He has found the Kingdom of God.

As man has evolved from the manifest material universe or from the lower to upper evolution, so has other beings all of which we do not know of. Some of them especially beings of vitality (jinns) acting on their nature to survive might try to block man's progress. A man who has surrendered to God has nothing to fear but he must be on the guard and not be a fool thirsting after powers of vitality. There are also other beings (angels) already residing in superior worlds who also might exert an upward thrust to the evolution played out here. Our concern is not with them for the time being. Ours is with the Brahman or Allah or God or Lord. Thus the stress in Vedanta or Islam about not worshipping the creation but only the creator.

The right balance of intelligence, faith, bhakti, and righteous work done with detachment or love for the Lord is very important for the seeker. But ultimately only the grace of God can bring about the change.

All of the above is an amalgam of the Koran, Bhagavad-Gita, Upanishads, Bible, Buddha's teachings, Aurobindo's books, Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Vivekananda, etc. etc. that I have read. I have understood things in this way.

Islam means surrender to God. Muslim means one who bows to the will of God. This is the path for me. All worship in truth is the worship of God. All beautiful names belong to God (quoted from Koran). There is great beauty in this variety as well as the oneness. In the essence of all religions is this great truth of Brahman or Jehovah or Allah.

Whenever there is need for reaffirmation of the truth, a great drought in true knowledge, he lets someone rise from mankind who will make us remember the truth. So these men who submit to the will of God have come to all civilizations from the ancient times. Krishna, Jesus, Moses, Mohammed, these are some we know of but many are whom we do not know (Peace be upon them all). They may be known as prophets, Avatars, etc. in different civilizations.

I first read the translation of Koran and in it were verses that exhorted me to read other revelations that have come before and the message that Koran contains not a new message but a reaffirmation of all that has come before. It tells me that I must respect all prophets equally and never put one above the other. It also states that anyone who believes and is righteous will find the grace of God. It specifically mentions Christians, Jews, Sabians, etc. It asks us to strive as in a race to all that is good. Leave all judgement to God. Diversity in religious beliefs is a reflection of the variety that we see in nature itself and the Koran clearly states that this is so that we can know each other (to enjoy the beauty of this rich diversity) and not despise one another.

A Divine Life

Submission or surrender is not the end of things. It is only a means to a beginning. It is the central path. Renunciation is the path to success.

What are we seeking? Some meaning to this life, right? We have this urge, a calling to go beyond what we see around us, to question, to find some answers, to evolve. No one is really content with what they have or what they are. Life makes sure that we do not become too complacent and edges us on. Some people need that extra push from life to make sure they start looking for answers, some people are born that way. At any rate, most people will end up seeking.

This urge to evolve is not anything new. It is latent in nature itself. It is the reason for evolution and the appearance of man. Man is conscient. The very opposite of conscient is what we call inconscient, matter, but even there you see the beginnings of what has led to this evolution. Science accepts that there were myriad ways in which universe could have evolved but it cannot explain why it chose this way.

So this latest to come on the scene of evolution, man, what is he? What makes him so special? How is he different from the plants, the animals, the bacteria? They all follow their nature and do not question it but man, he looks and ponders and questions the very nature of things. He looked inward and found many answers and thus religion was born. He looked outward and found some too and thus science was born. Reason and intuition, he uses them both though this being the age of reason, intuition is a bit scoffed upon.

If you observe your thoughts, you can find that they seem to come like waves from different sides, some good, some bad, like suggestions floating in the wind. Some we like to identify with and we make them our own, some we discard. When we look at a thought it seems so alien that we cannot even call it our own. Deeper observation exposes the myth of individuality and what we call me and mine.

Most people do not observe their thoughts and consider this aggregate of thoughts, this surface self to be the real I. They strive hard to protect and preserve this I, this unreal aggregate of ever changing thoughts, and spent much energy in feeding it and cherishing it. We even kill others to uphold these fickle thoughts. If we were only these passing clouds, how futile this elaborate evolution that brought us to existence would have been?

Some people looked deeper and found something that did not change with passing time, something they found to be in everything, something that even life and death could not tarnish. All life seemed to be the becoming of that. This being while in the midst of all, the enjoyer of all, all was that but it was all that and more. Everything is real as it comes from this. What we see is the becoming and it is all driven by the being. The being does not need to have this becoming but as it has all the freedom, you must ask not why, but why not? Being has infinite peace and wisdom and knowledge and Ananda. We cannot look down upon the becoming as it is the will of the being. The becoming has no existence independent of the being but the being is more than that.

Inconscient, the very beginning of the becoming is driven by this secret will and so every time it will evolve in the right way. It will throw up the conscient from the inconscient. Nothing can resist this urge as it is the will of the being. The becoming will have to discover the being. This is where evolution is going.

The being is all powerful and from that power comes the ability to bring about a becoming. So the descent caused the inconscient and the ascent has thrown up something in the midway, a conscient but not yet the supraconscient, a possibility. This is man. Here is something that can look deeper and have the joy of self discovery.

Man can and some do but the surface self of man, man’s idea of what he is, limits him. His progress is cut off because of his attachment and the false sense that he is only his surface self. Man contains all the things that inconscient needed for this evolution, the many twists and turns for the survival. He must discard them as he does not need them anymore and move on.

So what in plants and animals look to be just means of survival, in man looks to be evil. Man has a tool called morality to uproot this baggage that he carries around with him from the evolution. He must use it to weed out the lower urges in him and go to the higher. When he is inside, at this stage of evolution, he must fight and run and do all that he can to get away from evil. Once he has passed beyond, then he will understand evil for what it is, a program that was thrown up in the evolution and it does not need our attention beyond that.

Evolution has thus thrown up a lot of things, many things and beings we do not know, many that aid the evolution and many that try to stop it because they misunderstand and do what they think is best for their survival. Having acknowledged the existence of these things and understood them as being only distractions, we need not be preoccupied with them. We must keep away from all that and never bring out anything evil otherwise our progress will be hampered. Even powers can sometimes be demonic and it is best to keep away from the trappings of that.

As I stated earlier, once we have passed a certain stage, we will understand the truth of it all.

The being has infinite powers, infinite freedom, infinite wisdom and is not bound by anything. It can be personal or impersonal. As it is all that is, there is no question of being cruel or trying to make other things servile or such misunderstandings. Only if we think of an extracosmic god ruling the things he created can we come up with all such mistaken notions so here none of these questions even arise. There is no “other” here. There is only the being. The becoming is one of the poises of the being. The being is more than that.

Man has to keep growing and exceed what he has become now or else he is doomed to be blotched out as evolution does not wait for any man. The secret will or urge will drive things forward. If you need a personal god, a god who loves you and nourishes you and in whom you want to seek refuge, that is also there. If that is not your idea, fine, that is also there.

Rejoice in the glory of the being. Never stop seeking and you can never too.

Peace, peace, and peace. Shanti, salam.