There is no enemy!

 

In the movie Matrix, when its principal character Neo realizes the real nature of the matrix and accepts the truth about himself, he says to himself “there is no enemy” while carrying on a fist fight with Agent Smith. So also while thwarting away multiple personal boundary violations, I say with a smile, “there is no enemy.”

I can just hear you ask me despairingly “What the hell! Are you telling me that punk who cursed at me and is trying to stab me in the back is not my enemy??” I am repeating it again, “there is no enemy.” What is bringing forth this kind of foolish idealism may be your next query?

Well, most of us believe in God. I can start the explanation only with the base of spirituality, sorry. One core assumption in most religions is that this universe is replete with the presence of the One. Also that man is at his essence one with God. Accepting that as the fundamental truth, I have arrived at my aforementioned conclusion.

If everyone is one with God at his essence, then that must be our true abiding nature.  Therefore all are good. Yes, I also make that other vital assumption that God is good. At any moment, a human being is just a cluster of body, thoughts and feelings plus as we earlier presumed, the spirit of God. Now we all feel that we have an abiding “I-ness.” Whether at age 5 or age 50, I feel that I am me. Hope that is true for all of you. Since this I-ness is a constant, it must arise from something that is a constant as well. We know that the body we have now is not the one we had at birth. Also the thought we have at one moment is not the one in the next moment. Feelings are the impact of thoughts on body i.e. physical sensations. With the ever-changing nature of body and thought established, we have no doubt about the fleeting nature of feelings. So that brings us to the conclusion that our I-ness arises from the spirit of God because that is all that is left, right?

So here I go with some more crazy thinking: I am me because I am in essence one with God. This also holds good for you. Therefore, we are all good and share the same essence. This is our real nature. However we know that our behaviour really sucks at times. But this behaviour is just an external manifestation of thoughts and feelings. We have already concluded that thoughts and feelings are just fleeting phenomena. Therefore all our stupidity is just a passing cloud. In essence, we are all good – you, I, the whole truckload of people out there. Ergo, we are sharing one essence, full of goodness, and therefore there is no enemy. Only behaviour that really doesn’t work and that is okay because it passes. So again, I repeat, there is no enemy. Yes, I said it again. Please feel free to hit me with the nasty comments.

Pain is gain?

 

A sense of foreboding engulfed me.

With a heavy heart that cannot see,

I fumbled and tumbled to flee.

Soon darkness spread across the sea.

She was buried alive and so she wept

In the tomb of rationality whilst she slept.

Her cries were muffled, secrets kept

Her appearance grew more unkempt.

 

She lay still in the prison of unawareness

With no space for her ebullient playfulness.

She dared not reveal her tears

Or any of her pitiful lame fears.

Yet they could not wipe her out;

With her little resources she fought.

From her courage was wrought

The blade of pain that struck

Ceaselessly until they could not ignore.

It was no longer like before.

Now her silence was no more;

Her voice steadily grew into a roar.

The blade cut swiftly through reason

Pouring forth emotions exiled for treason.

The world stood still as she spoke

Thunderously through the clouds

Of confused thinking.

The condemnation was swift;

Between companions the rift

Was complete and love sent adrift

Upon the logs of piety

To appease an unknown deity,

Where it vanished in the sea of sadness.

As the blade grew no less sharp,

A scar that they could not wrap

Bled profusely through the polite crap

Of social etiquette and cultural trap

That the world felicitated with abandon.

 

There was no running away

As she beckoned now and then

Relentlessly and I heeded.

I peeked at her with reluctance

Approaching her with prudence

Initially shrinking with horror

From the crimson red dark terror.

With perseverance I realized

Her beauty and compelling reality.

Every time I saw her

My heart grew softer

Until it gave way to love.

With this renewed tenderness

I gazed upon her and held her close,

Longing to be one with her.

We stayed for eternity in our embrace

Knowing that she had my own face,

Was the living embodiment of my pain,

Until all that hurt bloomed into blissful gain.

The Fertile Soil

The soil eagerly prayed,
For the seed to be laid.
She had long been in turmoil,
With her many days of toil.
Though she was ploughed through,
Not a single sapling grew,
Only ugly worms burrowed through.

The soil yearned for his presence.
After a thousand years of penance,
There was yet no sign of grace,
Her heart was an empty space.
Into this void would he enter,
To be lodged in her heart's center?
An answer only he could render!

Suddenly the heavens burst forth,
With mighty thunder and froth.
Rain splattered heavily,
Lightning stuck her steadily.
As rocks were crushed into pieces,
Water splayed through her crevices,
She bore his caresses and teases.

Into this moment of creation,
Surrendering with renewed passion,
She unfurled her wily curls,
Going back and forth in twirls.
Heaven and earth were one,
And she had finally won
A fair place under the sun.

Words that point back to The Truth

Silence is very wholesome. Words seem futile as they immediately negate half the truth. They are broken symbols that elude perfection. Yet words are all that we have for now. When I utter a sentence, I have taken a stance and immediately I am pitted against the opposing argument. Through these absurdities, an identity of half-truths is bred. What was indescribable and complete has now been broken down into shreds and I become then a possessor of this piecemeal identity.

Thus through a web of errors, my self concept is built. This is a bunch of thoughts that I have about myself. "I am Thehseen. I love to write. Blah, blah..." I make pronouncements that underscore this self concept and it grows through interactions, consequent verbalisations and continuing feedback. It grows so monstrous that it then engulfs the reality that it was supposed to be only a representative of. Truth is forgotten. Half-truths fly around like a swarm of flies that encompass the sweet fruit of our essence. In this confusion, people float around like rotten seaweeds unable to anchor themselves in the pristine waters of life.

Once in a while, through sheer exhaustion from the turbulence of life, mind comes to a standstill. Then these fallacies fall away and truth shines through. This need not be the state of the average man.  Through a dedicated effort to stay in the moment, witness the inner and outer space, and feel own bodily sensations, man can go beyond the shackles of self concept and uncover the sweet taste of real self. Transactional Analysis can be an elegant tool that can enhance this attempt and pave the way for this recovery.

A mirror shatters

I was walking by the TV in our living room when a snippet from the iconic Bruce Lee movie  - "Enter the dragon" captured my attention. It was the legendary scene of the mirrors; Lee moving warily as the enemy hides amidst his numerous reflections. Then an idea enters Lee's mind that propels him into action. Though I don't remember it word for word, it went something like this - "Break the false image and the enemy will be defeated." I stopped in my tracks as I pondered about this precious wisdom.

People have an idea in their head about who they are. This self image is actually just a bunch of thoughts about themselves. Eventually people get so attached to these images that they gradually lose sight of their real essence. In ourselves and in others, these false images create barriers that separates'I' from 'you' and fosters enemity and hatred. I was being reminded that when we let go of the false images, the idea of 'enemy' itself dissolves. We are all one in essence. There is no enemy. 😊

Transmutation

The luminous river of energy consciousness flows and occasionally finds a murky pebble of emotional pain in its path. As and when the loving consciousness holds it in compassionate attention, the pebble melts into the river in an ecstasy and the energy that was once trapped in it is released and rejoins the flow. The river flows gently, pristine, unperturbed. Some pebbles lie very deep within, unseen. Circumstances arise in our life to bring these pain pebbles to the surface where they can be seen and transformed. The unsurrendered mind sees such situations as painful and unwanted intrusions into its peaceful life. But the surrendered mind smiles wisely n enjoys the ecstasy. It knows that The One has a perfect plan. The surrendered soul is like an innocent child who trusts her mother so completely that nothing disturbs her peace. She plays, sleeps n dreams contently in the lap of Reality.

Virtual reality

We are consciousness-energy that proceeds from the One Absolute Eternal Source. As we accumulate life experience, we build neural connections in the brain that signify this information. One such important cognitive structure is the self concept, a neural network that holds all data on the self. The consciousness-energy then gets attached to this self concept and mistakenly identifies with it. This is the cause of all suffering. On self inquiry (who am I?), this is understood. The attachment to the ego structure is dropped in this moment of awakening which comes only by grace. Thereafter through compassionate witnessing, the ego structures melt away at a rate proportional to the extent of surrender in the individual to the One Truth. Thus there is end of suffering.

The I-story

Words in themselves cannot hurt, even the basest of them. It is the story in our head that gives that power to them. We have the power to change that story. We have the power to be happy and free. But first, we have to know the story.

From the time we are born, we are weaving the story of our lives - "I am Indian. I am intelligent. I hate rice. I am unloved, blah, blah, blah..."

Inwardly, the story takes the appearance of a person which we may call the "little me." This is the ego of the Eastern spiritual traditions. As you can clearly see, it is just a collection of thoughts running in loop. But boy, does this program have us hooked 24 x 7!!

The story is not just our primary entertainment, it is also the window through which we view the world. If we cannot identify the bumps, cracks and colors that adorn this window pane, we buy into a corrupt vision of reality. It is therefore very important to examine our story.

So have you inspected your "story?" How do you go about doing that? What prevents you from taking a closer look?

Real vs. Unreal

In the face of great emotional pain and ego death, what helps me hold on is the remembrance of these beautiful words from the Bhagavad Gita -"What is Real is never lost and what is lost is never Real."

We dont know who we are. Due to our life experiences, we gather a set of thoughts in our head (eg: I am Thehseen. I like biryani, etc.). These thoughts act like an inner person (ego) and we believe this is who we are. Then we get attached to the ego and we start defending our ego and that is suffering. So life and consciousness (with infinite possibilities) taking form of a body gets limited into the box called ego. Ego is just a bunch of thoughts, remember.

In our daily lives of egos interacting with egos, (my way versus your way), there is always emotional pain because egos get bruised. Then we cry and "suffer." And say "Oh my poor life. What is to become of me!!" Who is this me? You dont even know who you are!! You misidentify with ego and then cry when that is being taken away from you!! Can you see the absurdity of it?!

You think you can think your way out of it? No!! All thinking is more ego. You hav to be very still. Earnestly self observe. Stay in the NOW. Gently bring your attention into the physical sensations of body and breath to anchor yourself. Let everyone and everything be as they are. Surrender to life. And maybe by God's grace, you wil one day become aware of the gap between thoughts. And then these gaps may widen. Wisdom and love will flow from the stillness that resides in these gaps.

Every moment, you r you. Yet you never know you. You can never be an object that you can know. You are the subject. You can only know who you are not. You can never lose you (that which is Real can never be lost). You lose many things you know (what was lost was never Real).

So every time someone comes along and tries to make fun of your way and tries to impose their way over you, rejoice. Your ego has the chance to melt a little so that the Real in all splendor can shine more and more. How grateful we should be to these great teachers who appear in our life to release our inner awesomeness from the prison box of the ego.....

End of games

Socrates said "Know thyself." I want to take a Transactional Analysis (TA) view of the importance of this wisdom.

One important aspect of suffering in human life is  the games that people play.  Games in TA language stands for unconscious manipulative behaviour that results in a psychological payoff of negative feelings for the people involved. I propose that people play games because they do not want to let go of the false idea of who they are. Everyone has an internal image of who they are. If this imaginary self is in congruence with reality, then the person is well adjusted. However if the self image is widely different from reality, there is unconscious fear to face this fact. This fear is mitigated by indulging in behaviour that will support the person's idea of the self image.

One way to do this is to project one's own personality flaws on to another. There are myriad ways that thus result in what we call games. So the solution is to face the truth of who we are not. In exploring that lies our salvation and an end to suffering.

People contain in themselves multitudes

People contain in themselves multitudes,
Of varying beliefs, feelings and attitudes.
Of a singular entity, there is no certitude:
At once nurturing and critical,
Alternatingly rational and irrational;
Suddenly rebellious, then compliant,
At times a Parent, next a Child,
Many facets drop in and out,
Through the mind's revolving door.
Fools chase after such passing clouds,
Hold onto old grievances and what nots,
A long lost love, a fleeting joy,
Life's enchanting ensnaring ploy.
Today I whisper sweet nothings,
Tomorrow I mete out cruel beatings
Yesterday I laughed, now I weep,
There is no permanent I to keep.
The wise know this simple truth:
People contain in themselves multitudes.

I

I long for solitude.
The world deems this a limiting attitude!
But I exist only
In the intervening quiet spaces
That elude them.

Amidst the barrage of tumbling words,
In the silence that hangs like a Damocles sword,
I find my salvation.
Neither an object nor a subject to be
I just am.

Nothing sticks to me:
Not even ties of love or hate
Not even the threat of an unknown fate.
I flow invisibly
Gathering no moss
Incurring no loss
Blissful and free.

Being ok with uncertainty

Ability to tolerate ambiguity is an essential part of every creative process. In that blessed moment at least, we are nothing but awareness examining the contents of our inner psyche or outer world with studied aloofness. Nothing is left unquestioned. Inner and outer worlds fuse together into one entity – content. All that is left is the process of being aware and the content it becomes aware of. Suddenly there are only two parts to our experience of life – awareness and content.

No thought is a hindrance unless it ossifies into an identity. Identification breeds attachment and with that fetters are placed on infinite potential. Suddenly the promising bubble of possibilities pops into a person. Limitations abound. Ideas are lost in the jungle of mundane ‘I’ thoughts. Reluctance to let go of any content becomes a stumbling block to the creative process. Ideas that overstay become identities that weigh down our options, cloud our minds. New stories can be written only on blank pages. Prejudices and pet notions are like overcrowded margins and ink-stained pages that mar any fresh writing. Attachment is a bane that suffocates the creative soul.

At the moment of creativity, we cease to be a person. All limitations of thought, feelings and personality are abandoned with compassion. We become okay with not knowing. We willingly fall into the abyss of nothingness. Floating free, we are pure awareness gazing at the work of the Creator. It is a moment of overwhelming beauty.

The mystery of the dark house

A man entered a house and found it to be very dark. All efforts to switch on the lights were in vain. Soon he grew accustomed to the darkness and was even happy at times with the gloom. However, none of the work he did in the dark had any pleasant outcome. It always ended in disappointment. Finally he got fed up. Then he remembered that his wise friend had warned him against living in darkness and had offered to help him if he ever wanted to change his ways. Somehow he managed to phone his friend.

He said, “I can’t see a thing. It is so tiresome. Can you help me?”

Friend: “Are you sure u wanna walk in the light? Have you had enough of the darkness?”

Man: “Hell! I can’t stand it anymore. I am desperate.”

Then the friend uttered those magic words that changed the man’s life forever.

Friend: “Please open your eyes.”