Pain is gain?

 

A sense of foreboding engulfed me.

With a heavy heart that cannot see,

I fumbled and tumbled to flee.

Soon darkness spread across the sea.

She was buried alive and so she wept

In the tomb of rationality whilst she slept.

Her cries were muffled, secrets kept

Her appearance grew more unkempt.

 

She lay still in the prison of unawareness

With no space for her ebullient playfulness.

She dared not reveal her tears

Or any of her pitiful lame fears.

Yet they could not wipe her out;

With her little resources she fought.

From her courage was wrought

The blade of pain that struck

Ceaselessly until they could not ignore.

It was no longer like before.

Now her silence was no more;

Her voice steadily grew into a roar.

The blade cut swiftly through reason

Pouring forth emotions exiled for treason.

The world stood still as she spoke

Thunderously through the clouds

Of confused thinking.

The condemnation was swift;

Between companions the rift

Was complete and love sent adrift

Upon the logs of piety

To appease an unknown deity,

Where it vanished in the sea of sadness.

As the blade grew no less sharp,

A scar that they could not wrap

Bled profusely through the polite crap

Of social etiquette and cultural trap

That the world felicitated with abandon.

 

There was no running away

As she beckoned now and then

Relentlessly and I heeded.

I peeked at her with reluctance

Approaching her with prudence

Initially shrinking with horror

From the crimson red dark terror.

With perseverance I realized

Her beauty and compelling reality.

Every time I saw her

My heart grew softer

Until it gave way to love.

With this renewed tenderness

I gazed upon her and held her close,

Longing to be one with her.

We stayed for eternity in our embrace

Knowing that she had my own face,

Was the living embodiment of my pain,

Until all that hurt bloomed into blissful gain.

Heaven on earth

 

Love, acceptance, forgiveness and gratitude are the ways in which we keep ourselves healthy. These are not great qualities that we want to foster to earn our place in heaven. These are living realities that we must shape in our lives for us to have the best of health physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually in the here and now. These are necessities that we cannot do without.

When a situation arises and we respond to it with an attitude of acceptance, the body does not needlessly go into a fight-flight mode. What does this mean? Usually whenever we deem a situation as not being in our favour, our body senses danger and the sympathetic nervous system is aroused. This is the part of our nervous system that is activated when we are in a state of stress or dis-ease. Our perspiration, heart rate, respiration rate, skin temperature, blood pressure all rise. Energy is released as we go into a state of alertness and our digestive system slows down. Our body prepares itself for either a battle or for running away. Either way, we are releasing adrenaline and such hormones that prime our body for action.

When we sense that the danger has passed and we are safe, our parasympathetic nervous system starts operating thus renewing our depleted resources and repairing our worn out body. However when we are in a constant state of resistance to whatever is happening in our life, in and out of daily arguments, there is no such rest periods for our body to renew itself. We are then in a state of constant activation of the sympathetic nervous system and our body is in a perpetual state of stress. Ultimately this wears the body down and we crash either physically or mentally or both. Migraines, backaches, anxiety, depression etc. are all various ways in which this dis-ease of the body and mind manifests itself. The way out is to face each moment with grace so that we can avert disease.

What you tell yourself each moment, determines how healthy you are eventually. So stay tuned in the frequency of love, acceptance, forgiveness and gratitude because these keep your body and mind in the pink of health.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Love heals. So this new year, I heartily welcome more love. I am constantly learning the art of love. Love to forgive oneself. Love to take care of oneself. Love to see the good intention in another. Love to move away from abusive situations. Love to protect oneself and others. Enough love to allow people who hurt to go through the consequences of their actions. Only love can bridge hearts. 

Love is also sweet fragrance of coffee in the morning. It is the gentle entwining of fingers with your beloved. It is the moment of silence that passes by without a care. It is the mellowing of the face in a soft smile when your eyes meet. Love is in the hearty laughter after a moment of silliness. It is in the eternal moment which the Lord holds for your homecoming. So this New Year, I am opening my heart for more love. Let it overflow. Wishing you all a wonderful year ahead full of love and best of health!!

The Fertile Soil

The soil eagerly prayed,
For the seed to be laid.
She had long been in turmoil,
With her many days of toil.
Though she was ploughed through,
Not a single sapling grew,
Only ugly worms burrowed through.

The soil yearned for his presence.
After a thousand years of penance,
There was yet no sign of grace,
Her heart was an empty space.
Into this void would he enter,
To be lodged in her heart's center?
An answer only he could render!

Suddenly the heavens burst forth,
With mighty thunder and froth.
Rain splattered heavily,
Lightning stuck her steadily.
As rocks were crushed into pieces,
Water splayed through her crevices,
She bore his caresses and teases.

Into this moment of creation,
Surrendering with renewed passion,
She unfurled her wily curls,
Going back and forth in twirls.
Heaven and earth were one,
And she had finally won
A fair place under the sun.

WHEN TWO WORLDS MEET

This is an age of expression. With the blooming of social media, people can increasingly reach out and communicate their deepest ideas to a wider audience at the click of a button. Is this the death knell for the introvert or is this the perfect time to be one?

Extraverts bloom in the presence of others whereas introverts peak when they are alone. Our educational, occupational, political, and corporate business systems all favour those who can mingle with ease and communicate effectively. Ergo, it is an extravert’s world. Some even view with suspicion and ridicule those who shrink from social contact. So it seemed that there was no space to be an introvert anymore. Then the lockdown happens. Social distancing is the new norm. People are able to interact with the outside world only through a technological interface. Have the tables turned?

Internal world vs. external world

Large families that are bursting at the seams offer no opportunity for seclusion. In schools, introverts are bullied. Their psychological boundaries are violated in the name of normalcy. There are of course introverts of various hues and degrees. Yet on the whole, they feel more deeply than extraverts. They also take in a lot more. They reflect more. Thus introverts end up expending a huge amount of energy. They feel drained in crowds. They feel overwhelmed by the enormity of their internal processing and have difficulty understanding their own emotions. Consequently they do not express their own needs.

Emotions offer us clues as to what we require. Extraverts interpret this information naturally and meet their needs readily. They also have much less data to deal with as they are not the quiet observers that introverts are. Therefore the world does not tire them out. They are energized by interactions with the outside world because this is where they can express and fulfil their requirements with ease. They are appreciated for the exuberance and vitality they display. They too come in all shapes and sizes. Introversion and extraversion lie on a continuum and we have people who are anywhere in between. However for the most part, extraverts have poorer understanding of the needs of others. Introverts on the other hand are attuned to other people to a greater degree and therefore offer empathy and support instinctively.

In short, extraverts know what their own requirements are but they struggle to figure out the needs of others. Introverts on the other hand excel in fulfilling the needs of others but are unaware of their own. Both have their place in the world and both succeed in their respective spheres of influence. Both are unique, precious and to be loved for who they are. Does this mean that change is not required and they just have to revel in their own strengths? This would have been true if it were not for the suffering.

SUFFERING

Extraverts suffer when their relationships fail because of their poor understanding of others. Introverts suffer when their own needs are not met because of their inability to identify and vocalize their own needs.

A WAY OUT

It is possible to end that suffering with awareness. Being present in the moment, observing self and others without judgment, both can ease their burden. By being mindful of the verbal and nonverbal behaviour of others, extraverts can overcome the deficit of empathy. By being mindful of one’s own body sensations and learning to interpret them as signals of requirements and learning to verbalize them, introverts can begin to fulfil their needs. A balance has to be cultivated in our mindfulness of our internal and external worlds. Extraverts are masters of the external world. Introverts are masters of the internal world. Both will benefit by gently turning the light of their awareness on their unfamiliar worlds. We stagnate when we do not face challenges. When we explore new worlds, our life expands and we discover new potentialities that help us soar higher into excellence.  

You are the missing piece!

A New Year Wish!

Variety is the spice of life. As long as I can remember, I have delighted in the diversity of human beliefs, values and opinions. The uniqueness of every individual is precious. Man’s ability to perceive reality in a multitude of ways touches my heart. I believe in the basic goodness of human beings.

My heart rejoices every time I think of the divine spark that resides in all of us. Sometimes this shines through in people with such beauty. In others its expression may be dulled by the travails of life, yet each person manifests their energy upon this world in their own way. With this deep connection in mind, I have interacted with people whose behaviour spans all shades, with equal respect and love in my heart. I have hated many a behaviour at times but loved the individual. This did not mean that I took hurtful behaviour passively. I spoke out as much as it was effective.

Now too, in this climate of fear and uncertainty, I feel I must speak out some hard facts. Today, I went to the mosque and in light of the CAA (Citizenship Amendment Act) being passed, the Imam spoke of patience and peaceful action. Being a Muslim, I have interacted with 100s if not 1000s of Muslims over my lifetime and listened to many a sermon at mosques. It gives me great pleasure to assure you that always the message was to uphold peace. In my personal life, I have never heard any Muslim speaking to me of harming the nation or its people. In fact, I have heard many profess of their deep love and pride for our country. This ground reality is quite different from the image of Islam and Muslims that is projected in the media. Sometimes it is made to look like each one is a savage ready with the right amount of provocation to break out into terrorism. This could not be farther from the facts.

I do not profess to represent Islam or gauge the pulse of all Muslims, but at least the many Indian Muslims I have met have never expressed any desire to become terrorists. I write this unabashedly not because I want to clear the name of Islam or because my identity lies with being a Muslim. I don’t believe in constraining myself into boxes like that. I see only beautiful divine sparks but that is another matter. Anyway, I speak out only because I fear that because of the misunderstanding that is now prevailing about Muslims, great mischief could break out and violence may be perpetrated against them.

If Muslims are seen as less than human and as a threat to the nation and as outsiders, ordinary people would not hesitate to use violence against them. I came to this conclusion rightly or wrongly after the blood lust and chest thumping that was exhibited in the wake of the Hyderabad rape accused killings. Our society now seems to be at the brink of applauding cruelty if the right justifications can be made. With the systematic othering of the Muslims perpetrated endlessly by the social media through crude jokes about their attires and supposedly multiple wives, we are now I fear reaching a dangerous tipping point.

I hope I am completely wrong and such things would never occur. I have hordes of friends of all religions and belief systems in whom I have faith. But some voices sadden me, even when I can appreciate the diversity of it. I hope Savarkar’s India never comes to pass. I hope our unity in diversity does not disintegrate into uniformity. I hope love triumphs over fear and hate. It may be that my misunderstanding of the Hindu right is equally grave. That they too are the victims of an overenthusiastic media. I hope to hear their voices too expressing their facts. That they never mean to take away rights and citizenship of Muslims like Savarkar wanted. That they too just want to live in an India where people of all religions co-exist with mutual respect and peace. This is my prayer for the New Year.

Thank you for your patience and great understanding by which you have let me stay in your life. I feel extremely blessed to have you in mine. Wishing you a wonderful year ahead full of love, prosperity, good health, joy and peace!!

With love,

Thehseen Zakir