WHEN TWO WORLDS MEET

This is an age of expression. With the blooming of social media, people can increasingly reach out and communicate their deepest ideas to a wider audience at the click of a button. Is this the death knell for the introvert or is this the perfect time to be one?

Extraverts bloom in the presence of others whereas introverts peak when they are alone. Our educational, occupational, political, and corporate business systems all favour those who can mingle with ease and communicate effectively. Ergo, it is an extravert’s world. Some even view with suspicion and ridicule those who shrink from social contact. So it seemed that there was no space to be an introvert anymore. Then the lockdown happens. Social distancing is the new norm. People are able to interact with the outside world only through a technological interface. Have the tables turned?

Internal world vs. external world

Large families that are bursting at the seams offer no opportunity for seclusion. In schools, introverts are bullied. Their psychological boundaries are violated in the name of normalcy. There are of course introverts of various hues and degrees. Yet on the whole, they feel more deeply than extraverts. They also take in a lot more. They reflect more. Thus introverts end up expending a huge amount of energy. They feel drained in crowds. They feel overwhelmed by the enormity of their internal processing and have difficulty understanding their own emotions. Consequently they do not express their own needs.

Emotions offer us clues as to what we require. Extraverts interpret this information naturally and meet their needs readily. They also have much less data to deal with as they are not the quiet observers that introverts are. Therefore the world does not tire them out. They are energized by interactions with the outside world because this is where they can express and fulfil their requirements with ease. They are appreciated for the exuberance and vitality they display. They too come in all shapes and sizes. Introversion and extraversion lie on a continuum and we have people who are anywhere in between. However for the most part, extraverts have poorer understanding of the needs of others. Introverts on the other hand are attuned to other people to a greater degree and therefore offer empathy and support instinctively.

In short, extraverts know what their own requirements are but they struggle to figure out the needs of others. Introverts on the other hand excel in fulfilling the needs of others but are unaware of their own. Both have their place in the world and both succeed in their respective spheres of influence. Both are unique, precious and to be loved for who they are. Does this mean that change is not required and they just have to revel in their own strengths? This would have been true if it were not for the suffering.

SUFFERING

Extraverts suffer when their relationships fail because of their poor understanding of others. Introverts suffer when their own needs are not met because of their inability to identify and vocalize their own needs.

A WAY OUT

It is possible to end that suffering with awareness. Being present in the moment, observing self and others without judgment, both can ease their burden. By being mindful of the verbal and nonverbal behaviour of others, extraverts can overcome the deficit of empathy. By being mindful of one’s own body sensations and learning to interpret them as signals of requirements and learning to verbalize them, introverts can begin to fulfil their needs. A balance has to be cultivated in our mindfulness of our internal and external worlds. Extraverts are masters of the external world. Introverts are masters of the internal world. Both will benefit by gently turning the light of their awareness on their unfamiliar worlds. We stagnate when we do not face challenges. When we explore new worlds, our life expands and we discover new potentialities that help us soar higher into excellence.