Who has not faced disappointment in life? From a very early age, we start learning that all that we desire need not materialize. The tantrums of childhood usually give way to maturity and understanding in adulthood but some disappointments can still devastate us. Should life then be a string of achievements and disappointments binding us firmly to a state of emotional turmoil?
Hope necessarily brings disappointment in its wake. Are we then supposed to live through life without hope or desire?
Certainly man has pondered about these questions for centuries as is evidenced by these verses from the Bhagavad-Gita.
“When a man thinks of the objects, attachment to them arises; from attachment desire is born; from desire anger arises.”
Suppose we are capable of cultivating a temperament that lets us enjoy what we get while at the same time remaining untouched by disappointment when we fail to meet our aspirations; that would be bliss indeed.
This simple truth is expressed in the following verses from the Gita: “But the self-controlled man, moving amongst objects with the senses under restraint, and free from attraction and repulsion, attains to peace.”
If a desire is reasonable and to the good of all, we must work hard to attain it but we should have such evenness of mind that we need not shed a tear when we fail. Each person takes his own time to recover from disappointment. What we are trying to aim for is a reduction in the recovery time such that recovery becomes almost an instantaneous reaction.
Then alone would we be able to accept life as it comes, submitting peacefully to the will of God. Islam literally means peaceful surrender to the will of God and a true Muslim is one who has mastered his senses. Anger has no place in his heart. While appreciating one of the numerous instances in which the teachings of two great religions of our country and common sense merge seamlessly, let us try to incorporate this adage into our beleaguered lives and strive to be reborn as a new Avatar in tune with nature this New Year.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Friday, September 25, 2009
A lost thought
In the deep recesses of his heart,
There once was a rumble.
A wave of thought arose
At first feeble and humble.
Not yet a ripple, she rode on
Imbued with scant emotion,
Bereft of any smart notion
Of love’s foibles
Or Destiny’s fables.
With hopes of grandeur
Garnering new ideas
She grew too dense and weak.
And soon petered out,
Unknown and unappreciated.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Another kind of love
Is love an elusive ideal that we hanker after in vain? Or does love make the world go around?
Of late, I have had many people confide in me that they do not feel any love in their hearts anymore. Most people suffering from depression or recovering from trauma or menopause also tend to think along similar lines. They feel that they float atop the uncharted waters of life, dutifully serving their families but totally bereft of any true warm feeling in their hearts. This is not something that people are willing to admit easily and great courage is required to even come to terms with this unpleasant truth. However, I am also beginning to realize that a lot of people have fallen prey to this emptiness at one time of their life or the other. What would cause love to vanish from our hearts?
Sometimes love causes so much pain that we let it be washed away by our tears and unwittingly make ourselves immune to its charm. We cannot bear the intensity of our emotions and shut ourselves up in that safe place where no hurt can reach us. We might delude ourselves into believing that we are untouched by outside events whereas in reality we are just totally unprepared to face any turbulence due to our fragile nature. Should we despair that we have fallen into such a terrible state?
Waking up to an empty heart is not easy. Every morning we painstakingly collect our limbs and drag on in limbo, blind to the beauty of life. At some point of time knowingly or unknowingly, we decided that the unpredictability of life and others was too painful to handle and withdrew into a cocoon. Fortunately this too can be a good thing if we want it to be. Like the proverbial larva that metamorphoses into a beautiful butterfly after its solitude, we too can outgrow our shells and discover our inner beauty.
First step as in any recovery is acceptance and the will to grow as a person. There is so much that we already know more than others who have not yet faced such terrible pain, like the volatility of life and the inevitability of change. Earlier we loved and gave with so much passion like everyone else but in return we were only disappointed and hurt. What expectations we had! And what little we gained! We have burnt the bridge with that love. “Enough is enough,” we said and embarked on a new journey. So now where is that going to lead us?
Though we do not recognize it, we are but at the threshold of learning a more effective way of loving. This love can never disappoint for it is a love without expectation where the reward is nothing but the very act of love itself. The very first time we do anything for another person without expecting anything in return, we learn the baby steps of this kind of love. Try making some extra food and giving it to a homeless hungry person if you want to know this feeling. The smallest act of kindness done without compensation will light a spark within you that will slowly burn brighter and expunge the darkness within. We have to feed it constantly and in time we will learn to love better and wiser.
All love starts and ends with self-love. At first is the recognition that you are not your body but something finer within. This means we have a responsibility to our own body as it is but a creation of God like everything else around us that we have to nourish and make the best use of. Will we starve our pet dog or our children or try to cause them injury? So too our body not being our own has the first right to be looked after. Proper diet and exercise are thus but an extension of this realization.
What about your mind? You think you are your mind? A few moments of quiet contemplation will expose the fallacy of that belief. So we have a responsibility to our mind as well. Will anyone willingly trash their home and clutter it with junk? Why should we then do this to our mind which is more precious than any material thing? We must learn to clear it of unnecessary thoughts and nurture the right ones.
Thus having learnt to put our mind and body to proper use and nourish it with respect and care, we are well equipped to embark on a new and more exciting journey that will teach a better love. We know its first steps are detachment but what is this detachment that we hear so much of? Is it being so sure that you are going to be hurt that you brace yourself every time you interact with someone thus avoiding disappointment? Of course not. It is the very opposite of that. True detachment is giving all that you can even to our worst enemies with a heart so full of love and faith that no one can hurt us for the very process of loving feeds and nurtures our heart completely. It does not leave any want or desire that has to be met externally. We will also not do anything to hurt our own mind or body because we recognize its true nature.
Most of us learn to love the easy way. Splurging all devotion and attention on the object of our affection. Straining our body and mind to keep them happy. Heartbroken when it is not reciprocated. This kind of love easily turns to contempt and hate in no time for it is a love that we cannot sustain. It is a love without any respect for ourselves. It might seem selfless but actually it is selfish and too demanding which will necessarily end only in disappointment.
When we let go of our expectations and let ourselves and others grow, then a love will blossom that is a joy forever.
Monday, April 20, 2009
War and peace
In our personal lives as in our public, we encounter numerous situations that seem unfair and unjust. Most of these challenges seem so insurmountable that we are vexed by it. We are convinced of the justness of our cause and angered by the injustice meted out to us and the more we try to solve them, the more we seem to be sinking into a fury from which there seems to be no escape. In our minds, we rationalize our violent behavior as a desperate measure to earn well-deserved justice but in truth we poison ourselves with the very hate that made us its victims.
Consider a housewife who has no opportunity to explore the outside world but is shackled in the seclusion of her home by household responsibilities like raising children, cooking, washing, etc. She resents the isolation and the perceived degradation of her intellectual acumen, loss of respect, and financial dependence, and envies the freedom enjoyed by her husband who trots in and out of the house with ease, unhampered by monotonous chores, mingling with friends and coworkers; a freedom that she feels is denied to her. The more she ponders about the unjustness of her situation even though she may be extremely loving and caring and a great mother and wife, the more vexed she will become. Soon the very home, she wishes to make a haven of peace and happiness through her sacrifices, take on the appearance of a prison that seems to throttle her dreams and aspirations.
Consider the victim of a communal pogrom, riot or ethnic cleansing. His helplessness, anger, and victimization seem undeniable, the wickedness of his tormentors unquestionable. As societies and countries move on, forgetting and sometimes even denying true justice, wounds fester and righteous anger takes on dangerous proportions until existence itself becomes undesirable and revenge the only plausible solution for peace.
Consider the victim of incest, parental abuse or alcoholism. The victim is convinced of the rightness of his anger, the cruelty of the perpetrators and the need to punish and/or obtain justice. In his mind, peace can descend only when justice has been rendered.
In all these situations, we find that the justness of the victim’s cause is undeniable and the very raison d’être of his anger comes from justice not being delivered. The core belief is that peace can exist only when justice prevails but that alas is its real tragedy. For peace, like happiness is subjective.
If you decide that there will be peace, then there will be. This very moment you can choose to revel in its soothing glory and be calmed by its descent or you can cling on to your bitterness and be destroyed by your anger.
This is not an easy path to follow and every moment we have to renew afresh our determination to remain peaceful. Sometimes crises arise which shake our resolve but we must persevere and get up after each fall.
Does this approach make us run away from our problems?
On the contrary, our decision to choose peace is the first step towards creating an atmosphere which will help us work fruitfully towards our genuine goals. This peace that I am willing to open my heart to, the loving surrender of my trust to God is for me Islam, my religion.
Consider a housewife who has no opportunity to explore the outside world but is shackled in the seclusion of her home by household responsibilities like raising children, cooking, washing, etc. She resents the isolation and the perceived degradation of her intellectual acumen, loss of respect, and financial dependence, and envies the freedom enjoyed by her husband who trots in and out of the house with ease, unhampered by monotonous chores, mingling with friends and coworkers; a freedom that she feels is denied to her. The more she ponders about the unjustness of her situation even though she may be extremely loving and caring and a great mother and wife, the more vexed she will become. Soon the very home, she wishes to make a haven of peace and happiness through her sacrifices, take on the appearance of a prison that seems to throttle her dreams and aspirations.
Consider the victim of a communal pogrom, riot or ethnic cleansing. His helplessness, anger, and victimization seem undeniable, the wickedness of his tormentors unquestionable. As societies and countries move on, forgetting and sometimes even denying true justice, wounds fester and righteous anger takes on dangerous proportions until existence itself becomes undesirable and revenge the only plausible solution for peace.
Consider the victim of incest, parental abuse or alcoholism. The victim is convinced of the rightness of his anger, the cruelty of the perpetrators and the need to punish and/or obtain justice. In his mind, peace can descend only when justice has been rendered.
In all these situations, we find that the justness of the victim’s cause is undeniable and the very raison d’être of his anger comes from justice not being delivered. The core belief is that peace can exist only when justice prevails but that alas is its real tragedy. For peace, like happiness is subjective.
If you decide that there will be peace, then there will be. This very moment you can choose to revel in its soothing glory and be calmed by its descent or you can cling on to your bitterness and be destroyed by your anger.
This is not an easy path to follow and every moment we have to renew afresh our determination to remain peaceful. Sometimes crises arise which shake our resolve but we must persevere and get up after each fall.
Does this approach make us run away from our problems?
On the contrary, our decision to choose peace is the first step towards creating an atmosphere which will help us work fruitfully towards our genuine goals. This peace that I am willing to open my heart to, the loving surrender of my trust to God is for me Islam, my religion.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Question of the Day
Pursuit of truth is essential for the survival of any society especially a democratic one. Enlightened debates form a part of the process. Public awareness of policy decisions and its true impact is the cornerstone of any democracy. Raising valid questions regarding the veracity of the worldview that a government tries to project is an important step in that direction. Dismissing such attempts as dissent and heresy subverts freedom and the very principles on which democracy stands.
Ideally in a democracy, majority voice should be the loudest and the most powerful. However in spite of many safeguards, there is a real danger of power falling into the hands of a minority. In most societies, wealth is concentrated in the hands of a few. Only the most naïve can deny that wealth translates into power even in a democracy. Wealth always seeks to gather more wealth. When corporate and economic interests collude with political interests, more often than not national interests take the backseat. How can minority rule be viable in a democracy “for the people and by the people” that explicitly champions the power of majority? The answer is disinformation, misinformation, and plain no information.
My question to you is, are you aware of such trends in your country? Does government policy always mirror public opinion? Have there been efforts by your government to divert attention from the real issues such as poverty, corruption, and environment? If so, what are the tactics employed? Do you believe everything that your government tells you? Are you aware of a media-government-corporate nexus? Is your government’s worldview at variance with the rest of the world? If yes, which would be the most outstanding example? What is the source of your information?
Thank you for participating.
Ideally in a democracy, majority voice should be the loudest and the most powerful. However in spite of many safeguards, there is a real danger of power falling into the hands of a minority. In most societies, wealth is concentrated in the hands of a few. Only the most naïve can deny that wealth translates into power even in a democracy. Wealth always seeks to gather more wealth. When corporate and economic interests collude with political interests, more often than not national interests take the backseat. How can minority rule be viable in a democracy “for the people and by the people” that explicitly champions the power of majority? The answer is disinformation, misinformation, and plain no information.
My question to you is, are you aware of such trends in your country? Does government policy always mirror public opinion? Have there been efforts by your government to divert attention from the real issues such as poverty, corruption, and environment? If so, what are the tactics employed? Do you believe everything that your government tells you? Are you aware of a media-government-corporate nexus? Is your government’s worldview at variance with the rest of the world? If yes, which would be the most outstanding example? What is the source of your information?
Thank you for participating.
Letter in Earnest Part II
This is a letter to me from my 80-year-old future self.
Dear Taz,
It is amazing to look back at you from a different space and time. I will keep this short because I know that time is a precious commodity for you. You are straining every limb and leaving no corners unturned to squeeze the best out of those 24 hours.
As I shift my gaze from the azure skies and turquoise sea that adorn my landscape, I cannot help but wonder how amazed you would be to know that I am currently on a vacation to Kepler’s planet. It lies in the Cygnus-Lyra region of the Milky Way and was discovered in your year.
You would be thrilled to know that grey hairs are no longer an issue as scientists have found a way to stop the build up of hydrogen peroxide which is the real cause behind the blocking of melanin synthesis (now you know why unwashed hair stinks!).
As you had accurately predicted, several species have died out in my time, the most devastating and unpredictable of course was the mass extinction of the corporate breed called risk-assessment managers. They were outsmarted by the scientists who discovered how to turn on the “bright side gene” and now all human beings are hopeless optimists and forever happy.
In my time, world is no longer throttled by the narrow notion of nationhood. We have a form of decentralized democracy uniting the whole world as Gandhiji had envisioned. Nonviolence as championed by Gandhi and Martin Luther King has truly entered our lives.
This I know will doubtlessly quell the unease in your heart for you have over time woken up to the inconsistencies and injustices of the world and the biases of the media. You agonize over the fact that the electronic media especially has been reduced to a propaganda machine for war and capitalism at the cost of truth. You know that its divisive agenda is aimed at keeping ordinary people in the dark and distracting them from the more immediate concerns of global warming and poverty but you wonder how many can actually afford to care amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life. You understand the real issues behind terrorism and worry about how many are being duped by the false rhetoric of ‘Islamic terrorism’ while the real reasons for terror are much more complex and deliberately hidden from the purview of the masses.
In spite of these worries, I know you still endeavor to do your part in clearing the smog of untruth and persist in the cause of Ahimsa (nonviolence).
Hold on to your catch phrase “Let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice.” (Chapter 5 Verse 2 Al Quran.)
Be the change that you want to see. Let your life be a reflection of Islam-peaceful surrender to the will of God. Let the light of love permeate your thoughts, words, and deeds. Everything else will follow.
Grab hold of every opportunity that comes your way. Stay diligent for the return of the master.
Love,
T
Dear Taz,
It is amazing to look back at you from a different space and time. I will keep this short because I know that time is a precious commodity for you. You are straining every limb and leaving no corners unturned to squeeze the best out of those 24 hours.
As I shift my gaze from the azure skies and turquoise sea that adorn my landscape, I cannot help but wonder how amazed you would be to know that I am currently on a vacation to Kepler’s planet. It lies in the Cygnus-Lyra region of the Milky Way and was discovered in your year.
You would be thrilled to know that grey hairs are no longer an issue as scientists have found a way to stop the build up of hydrogen peroxide which is the real cause behind the blocking of melanin synthesis (now you know why unwashed hair stinks!).
As you had accurately predicted, several species have died out in my time, the most devastating and unpredictable of course was the mass extinction of the corporate breed called risk-assessment managers. They were outsmarted by the scientists who discovered how to turn on the “bright side gene” and now all human beings are hopeless optimists and forever happy.
In my time, world is no longer throttled by the narrow notion of nationhood. We have a form of decentralized democracy uniting the whole world as Gandhiji had envisioned. Nonviolence as championed by Gandhi and Martin Luther King has truly entered our lives.
This I know will doubtlessly quell the unease in your heart for you have over time woken up to the inconsistencies and injustices of the world and the biases of the media. You agonize over the fact that the electronic media especially has been reduced to a propaganda machine for war and capitalism at the cost of truth. You know that its divisive agenda is aimed at keeping ordinary people in the dark and distracting them from the more immediate concerns of global warming and poverty but you wonder how many can actually afford to care amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life. You understand the real issues behind terrorism and worry about how many are being duped by the false rhetoric of ‘Islamic terrorism’ while the real reasons for terror are much more complex and deliberately hidden from the purview of the masses.
In spite of these worries, I know you still endeavor to do your part in clearing the smog of untruth and persist in the cause of Ahimsa (nonviolence).
Hold on to your catch phrase “Let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice.” (Chapter 5 Verse 2 Al Quran.)
Be the change that you want to see. Let your life be a reflection of Islam-peaceful surrender to the will of God. Let the light of love permeate your thoughts, words, and deeds. Everything else will follow.
Grab hold of every opportunity that comes your way. Stay diligent for the return of the master.
Love,
T
Friday, February 20, 2009
A letter in earnest
The following is a psychological exercise suggested by a friend. It entails two tasks-writing two letters, one to a younger version of you and the other from an older version. Here is the first one…
This is a letter addressed to 6-year-old Thehseen.
Dearest Chippu,
I see that you are up at 6.00 am and out in the courtyard with mom, taking in the freshness of the morning air and enchanted by the fog that envelops the fields far beyond. My memory of you is already clouded like that mist but I have not forgotten your wisdom, innocence, and tremendous faith in God. You cannot see the faults of others. You accept and love everyone unconditionally. You instinctively know much about life, death, and God that I am still seeking consciously to learn.
There are some things that I want you to keep in mind while growing up:
1. Keep reading as you always do. It will be of great help to you. As soon as you can, start reading the English translation of Al Quran by Abdullah Yusuf Ali daily. It will be a wise guide. You must also read the Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita, Bible, Dharmapada, and all other scriptures. They will strengthen you.
2. No calamity can happen except by the leave of God. There is no power but Him so there is nothing else to be afraid of.
3. Anger is an enemy so keep away from it even though it may seem justified.
4. You cannot please everyone all the time. Just be yourself and learn to say ‘no’ to things that can overburden you.
5. You do not have to obey anyone who is not following the straight path even if it may be your closest kin but express your unwillingness in kind and loving terms.
6. You are not responsible for the sins of others. Keep your slate clean and forgive those who trespass. Repay hatred with love and it will be fruitful in the end.
7. Hold firmly to God’s loving hands and never forget Him for momentary pleasures. Enjoy life. Love, trust, and give as you do without fear by leaving all burdens, worries, and apprehensions to God. Keep your goal in sight always and do not be distracted. Remember body is the temple of the soul so take good care of all that you have been given, enrich it, and be a worthy vicegerent.
God gives us what we need, not what we want, so do not be surprised by the things that you get. There is much to learn from it. Keep your eyes and heart open for a lifetime of education.
You are good, I am good, the world is good. Peace.
Love,
Taz
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