A heavy heart

The heart that weeps,
The wound that seeps,
The profound leap,
That faith is yet to keep.
Lillies that float in the sky
Amidst angels that sigh,
Butterflies in the blue sea;
Imagination wild and free.
Hopes that abscond
Like frogs in a pond;
Croaking for rain
To assuage the pain.
Orchids that bloom
Beyond winter's gloom.
Wings of swans spread
To escape from the dread
Of the sudden dark cloud
That springs upon the loved
One's luminous face,
Even while matching her pace.
Shoulders that droop
And words that loop;
Mind in a soup,
Pouring out in a torrent,
Thoughts that torment,
Swirling fears that never cease;
For a heavy heart knows no peace.

Breaking the racket/script system

Some stressful situation triggers racket feelings. It is happening again. All the worst thoughts r rushing into ur head. When in the grip of racket system, the scripty beliefs and thoughts strengthen. Immediately bring in body awareness and pay attention to body sensations, breath etc. If possible write down what is happening in body after first making an initial summary of what event and thoughts transpired in two sentences. Keep WITNESSING. There wil be movement of body sensations. What is happening NOW is that we are connecting with the authentic feelings repressed at the time of script formation. It was lying beneath the scripty thoughts and racket feelings. This is the original stuck energy for the release of which you have unconsciously created this situation in your life.  Stay with it. Honour it. Let ur awareness gain strength. What are the thoughts about you, others and the world? Educate yourself on what view this part of you has. Dont be attached to it. Just become aware n write it down in one or two sentences each. These ideas served u at one time. So thank that part of u but dont be attached to it. Be compassionate to yourself. Grow in understanding. Thoughts wil become fewer. As your awareness strengthens, bring in a new good thought. Do productive activities. All the while being aware of the sensations in the background. Keep at your exercises, balanced diet, daily responsibilities. Maintain witnessing the body sensations in the background. Allow it to be. Dont be in a hurry to get rid of it. Focus on new beautiful thoughts. Relax. It is happening. Let it be. In time, the energy wil be released, the fixated Child integrated. You have regained your stuck energy. You have become more powerful. Enjoy! God bless!

PS: For u to become aware in a stressful situation, u need to practice effortless moment-to-moment awareness when things are stable. So make witnessing a part of your daily life. Cultivate beautiful thoughts in the garden of your mind..

Of frogs and princes

TA claims that we are all born princes and princesses. Script-ridden people have mistakenly identified themselves as frogs having been cursed to forget their pristine identity.

Ideally TA therapy should lead to a disavowal of this false image and reclamation of the exalted true self. For this, first the script-ridden people have to be encouraged to look within themselves and become aware of the beautiful self lurking beneath the false identity. By thus shifting attention from their 'frogginess,' slowly these people recover their royal form. The frog mask withers away like a mirage. The therapist plays an important role in cultivating this shift by focusing on the princely qualities through attributions, modeling and permissions. Thus the therapist holds a very powerful position in TA group therapy. The counselees are vulnerable at this point and in a highly suggestible state.

If however, the therapist chooses to focus on their frogginess, ridiculing their green habit and warts n all, the counsellees wil start getting attached to their frog identities. The more they hate their warts and remain unaware of their princely true self, the more adamantly they will cling to their 'frogginess' and will therefore be averse to any change. Then the counselees will spend months and years cleansing their green bodies with TA tonic n shampoo and gaze wistfully at their wart-ridden bodies in the false mirror held by the therapist. No frog will turn into a prince this way. The way out is for therapists to focus on the princely qualities and point to the existence of the princely self and hold a shining mirror to this true self. Then the counselees will readily relinquish their illusory 'frogginess' and become the princes and princesses that they are.

We can’t heal what we can’t feel

Emotional pain is not something we can work through in a day and hope to live happily ever after. Pain appears when we least expect it. We don’t get to prepare for it. It just comes up as and when situations we deem as stressful arise in our lives spontaneously. These seemingly insufferable situations are the opportunities for healing. At these times, the pain comes up to the surface for us to engage with it. We can’t heal what we can’t feel. So we allow ourselves to feel deeply. Whatever the emotion be. We feel the physical sensations. All the while gently reminding ourselves that we are consciousness itself and not the sensations or thoughts that arise in it. Rooted in our awareness, we go about our lives as usual. This is the only preparation that is required. And suddenly the pain comes up and we say “Ok, you too are part of this NOW. Hello! What message do you bring?” Meanwhile we keep cultivating positive growth-oriented thoughts that can reap rich dividends in the form of goal-oriented appropriate behaviour. Let our every step be purposeful. Oriented towards our spiritual and personal goals. When we focus on the positive, healing will still take place in the background naturally. It is going to happen intermittently. It is part of your daily life. So just ease into the present moment. Don’t be in a hurry to just get it over with. Just allow everything to be and flow peacefully with life.

Try grabbing with open hands!

I have often wondered about the way Muslims do dua - open hands raised up. Sitting here in my living room, taking in the fresh breath of a new dawn, an idea downloaded into my mind. Thought of sharing it with you:

As a personality, I feel that I am continuously being made and unmade. Sometimes being stripped to the very core. Sometimes embellished with patterns of thinking, feeling or behaving that I never knew existed in me. So also the other objects in life - beauty, disease, health, wealth, poverty, skills, etc. come and go. Things people perceive as painful are easier to let go of for obvious reasons. Of course there are also addictions to certain painful stimuli that people can develop. But for the most part, people are more attached to the objects of pleasure. But life is evanescent. These objects fade in and out like the words on a ppt. Perhaps the hands remain open when in prayer as an indication of this constant flow. Instead of clasping what we receive and refusing to let go, we ought to keep those hands open to allow these blessings to grace our lives as well as ready to let them flow out with ease when their time runs out. It is scary for the egoic personality to really accept the fleeting nature of these objects. But fear and grief does not touch upon the deeper part of us - our essence. By remaining centered in that part of us that remains unchanged - consciousness - we surrender to what is in peace. How to connect to that stable part? Stay in the NOW, follow your breath, feel your bodily sensations, become aware of your awareness and root yourself there. God bless. 

Temple of our soul

Each moment our body is sensing various stimuli and sending messages to our brain. If we stay alert and rooted in the present moment, we can become aware of these sensations. They hold vital clue as to how our body is responding to the environment. When our mind is floating to the past and future, we  remain ignorant of this important information and thus our behaviour will not be situation-appropriate.

To illuminate this, let us consider a scenario: Manjula is a 30-year-old married woman who works from home. Her mother-in-law (MIL) is very socially active and has countless guests dropping in. Before raising her awareness, Manjula used to be at the beck and call of her MIL. She would be asked to entertain and feed and humour the guests. Even though she had countless other affairs to attend to, she would oblige (passivity - overadaptation). Consequently, her physical, mental and emotional health would suffer and she fell ill often. After Manjula started practicing moment-to-moment awareness, her behaviour changed. When she began paying attention to her physical sensations, she understood that she resented these intrusions upon her time and energy. Her shoulders were tense, jaw was clenched. As a result of understanding the needs of her body and mind, she established clear limits to the amount of time she would spend with her MIL's guests. It would be just enough to be courteous but not so much that it would intrude upon her life. She no longer felt like a Victim. She reclaimed her rightful power and hardly ever fell ill again.

When we ground ourselves in the NOW and are in touch with our body, we have access to the intelligence of our body. Our body becomes our friend when we respect its needs. And it will support us beautifully through life.