WELCOME!

Mind is turbulent like wind but when held immobile through powerful concentration can unlock the secrets of the universe.

This is a rendezvous for contemplating about human existence, mysteries of the mind, and importance of wisdom in daily life. Perhaps when we look at the larger picture, when we are reminded of the true meaning of life, we can strive for a better world filled with understanding, mutual respect and peace.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

A Book Review of “Scripts People Live” (1974; Claude M. Steiner)

The concept of Script is a basic tenet of Transactional Analysis. Claude Steiner takes the study of scripts further than Eric Berne (father of Transactional Analysis and his teacher) ever did. Steiner’s loyalty and devotion to Berne having been professed extensively in this lucid, path-breaking volume, he interestingly also goes on to highlight how a deeper knowledge of scripts could have prolonged Berne’s own life. According to Steiner, Berne had injunctions (Parental suggestions) which stood in his way to a rigorous exploration of scripts and strokes. Steiner perhaps wants to right a wrong even if it is too late for his mentor friend. In this way, he may have intended this to be a cathartic piece.

This book provides an illuminating outline of the key concepts of TA so that the lay person is not left stumped by strange terms. Having thus laid a firm foundation, Steiner then builds on this further to highlight his own unique contributions to scripting – the triad of the Lovelessness, Mindlessness, and Joylessness scripts. He delves into their causes. His approach is always practical and steadfastly aimed at curing pathology. In the end, he does not shy away from offering crisp, well-crafted, creative solutions. He enlightens us as to how scripting leads to powerlessness and takes us away from awareness, intimacy and spontaneity. He stresses the advantage of co-operation over competition and this is a refreshing view from a Western intellectual given the overt importance accorded to individuality in Western culture. 

He warns extensively against the pitfall of playing “Rescue” in both therapeutic and non-therapeutic relationships. His portrayal of an ideal therapist as one who brings a solid Adult, nurturing Parent and cheerful Child to therapy is appropriate and heartening. He also enlists Command, Permission, Protection, Fun and Potency as significant tools in a competent therapist’s armour. His suggestions on therapy are astute observations based on ground reality and are therefore priceless.

The short section on Sex-role scripting in men and women by Hogie Wyckoff unfortunately feels archaic, at times offensive, and often not in keeping with the modern and enlightened tone of the rest of the book. Steiner’s own inputs on liberation of men and women from stereotyping and sex-role scripting however stand the test of time and enrich the debate on gender equality immensely. His contribution to the upbringing of children is also valuable and gives a thrust in the right direction to a progressive and compassionate approach to child-rearing aimed at creating adults who are the epitome of autonomy – TA’s ultimate ideal and goal.


Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Synchronicity




Three incidents this month have shaken up my husband from the reverie of a materialistic world and onto the path of infinite possibilities.

1. The day after we talked of how the temporary fibre structure that gives our terrace shade will have to be chucked in favor of a new room, part of the fibre sheet collapsed.
2. The green palm near our fountain began to rot ever since we planned to remove it to make way for a staircase.
3. One of his sandals crumbled, the day after he decided he did not like the slip-on and would give it away (it is brand new).

I have been grappling with the idea that our thoughts affect matter for a very long time. Coupled with the spiritual experiential knowledge of the interconnectedness of everything in the universe, I feel more inclined now to embrace this view. Whether it is factual or not, I would rather send out peaceful thoughts than harmful ones. And towards this endeavor of rooting out all negative thoughts, feelings and behaviour and replacing them with useful and harmonious ones, I ardently hope we will propel each other on. Peace!!❤💜💙💚☺

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Top 7 thinking errors

Errors in thinking can lead to ineffective behaviour that hurt us and others. It is thus very important to identify these in ourselves. I will enumerate 7 such errors that stand in the way of a blissful life and a short explanation on why these don't work:

1. Expecting people, things and situations to be in sync with our desires and becoming resentful when they are not.

Truth: It makes no sense to resist what is already happening. Instead, flow with life.

2. Believing we will be at peace only after a certain external situation is resolved.

Truth: Peace lies within and is available each and every second. Only our thoughts hide this inner bliss.

3. We have better things to do than try to heal our own emotional pain.

Truth: We see the world through the veil of our emotional pain. Only when it is healed can we see the real world. Without knowing reality, we cannot do anything effectively. So our first priority should be self healing.

4. Focusing on the present moment is a waste of time.

Truth: The past is over. Future is yet to be. So past and future exist only as thoughts. What is real and happening NOW is the present moment. If we don't catch it, we will miss out on life itself.

5. Thinking is far too important an activity to be stopped.

Truth: 99.9℅ of thoughts are repetitive. Like an overused knife becomes blunt, an overworked mind loses its edge. When mind becomes still, it regains its agility. New thoughts and creative solutions emerge from the stillness that resides in the gap between thoughts.

6. Love is something we dole out depending on the actions and qualifications of the one to be loved.

Truth: Love is our natural state. It flows effortlessly from the depth of our being to the depth of the other person's being. When our heart is open, we are a loving presence irrespective of the other person's merits.

7. Love is equal to blind obedience.

‌Truth: Love is being true to the truth of one's own being. Saying 'no' to abuse is love. Love is allowing others to be. If they choose to be their hurtful childish self, then that means either being a loving presence that can heal their emotional pain or if that does not work, walking away from them.

Please do not hesitate to leave your valuable comments.

I look forward to reading your thoughts and gaining new ideas.