Welcome 2025!

 

It is New Year’s eve once again. It would be a cliché to say that it came too soon. Yet life does seem to be flitting by. We humans scatter hither and thither to make a living. I get several clients who come to me complaining of how lazy they are and enquire how they can motive themselves to become more productive. I look at how they spend their time and it usually turns out that they don’t have a minute to spare and are bursting at the seams with activities. Doing, doing and more doing. Compulsive doing. Then they find themselves browsing social media or Insta incessantly or falling ill which they call their “unproductive” time.

Our culture has created human robots who get anxious when they stop doing. I ask the clients about the narrative in their heads that spurs them on to keep doing. Invariably they recollect parents or teachers who spotted them as children enjoying a quiet moment of contentment or brilliant creativity and called it a “waste of time” and to quickly switch to studying which is “the stuff that matters.”  

Addictions are a coping strategy to get away from the pain of not feeling okay. Many grownups cannot spend a quiet moment anymore. We have come up with the term “boredom” to normalize this condition. So, we pride ourselves in having a hectic life. Yet deep within us there is the yearning to be, to just be. To connect intimately with the moment, with nature, with the life that pulsates through us. It is a state of still aliveness which I call “being.” The body-mind complex obliges for a while to meet the cultural pressures. Then its natural impulses gather force. There is a complete or partial breakdown as a result.

I usually startle my clients when I tell them that the remedy is to do nothing and connect with their innate creativity by feeling the life pulsating through them. They smile when I tell them that we are human being and not human doing. I also invite them to think of what is important to them in life. This New Year, I hope all of us can find our unique balance of being and doing, orient our doing in the way of our values and shine forth like the sparks of life we are.

 

Work-life balance

 

In an era when work has quietly entered our homes and personal spaces after the advent of Covid, it has become increasingly difficult to delineate where and when work ends and personal life begins. Without a clear physical boundary to highlight that transition, often we wander aimlessly in a purgatory of switching seamlessly from workspace in our laptops to YouTube videos in an instant. We lament that there is no time. We yearn for the closure of switching off our laptops and coming home to relax.

It is important to know what we are capable of and what we require to start setting those boundaries up. Self awareness is key. Some important questions to ask ourselves are: 1. How many hours do I want to work? 2. How many hours do I need to rest, play, and relax? 3. How many hours do I want to spend with my friends and family? The answers will vary from individual to individual and that uniqueness needs to be valued. For example, I am a morning person and require at least seven hours of sleep so I am off to bed by 10 pm and get up at 5 am so I can have a productive day ahead.  I do not take up any work that would jeopardize that.

Another important point to ponder about is the extent to which we want to engage with the digital world – when, where, and how? Once we have some clarity about our needs, we are well on our way to creating boundaries. For example, I do not use my digital devices on Sundays or after 7 pm most of the time unless it is an emergency.

When we have an idea what are needs and feelings are about how, when and where we want to work, it is up to us to implement that in our lives. We can use our creativity and look for options that support our choices. When we honor who we are, work and life will fall into place harmoniously.